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saturday
karma
I have nothing in particular to write for this entry, other than the fact that I just wanted to post up the image. As you can see, this one's a little variation of the one of last Thursday. I wonder if you can spot the subtle difference other than the year? Also.. is it just me or does this image convey such a warm feeling?
corks
I handpicked them when I visited the Napa Valley, CA. It was such a beautiful day, I remember. Had it been a painting, there was not a single drop of white paint on it. And oh, how can I forget that wine testing session. It was definitely worth the money. hehe
cologne
My mom really liked it so she wanted me to get that cologne. Bought it at the duty free shop at the border. I remember getting a numb nose after smelling so many types of cologne. I must say I am quite satisfied with the final pick. hehe
sunglasses
I still remember myself trying them on as if it were yesterday. It was at Lake George in NY, during one of my mom's famous shopping excursions. Guess sunglasses, oh yes.. how can I forget that day... hehe
lotion
In an attempt to reign over the epidemic smell of kimchi, this lotion was installed in my car. Even though it had a little effect on the nose, it sure did help. As a matter of fact, it still does...
Come to think of it, everything in that picture is from/related to US. Even the camera that I used to take the picture is from US. hahahah and who would've thought I would convert...
Le vin est verse/, il faut le boire.
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aveugle
je ne me vois meme pas...
Transparency is set to maximum. As a result, I can't even see myself. Nothing gets reflected off the very mirror I am looking at right at this moment. Is this an illusion that I've learned to trick myself?
They tell me to go for it. But what do they know??? Then again, the same argument can be used against me. What do I know??? Sadly, I have not a single clue.
It's ironic how one person builds up a wall to protect himself from whatever that's outside only to find that he's trapped in his own prison, unable to get out, unable to breathe, unable to see the world.
Just another day. I try to comfort myself. But when will it end? Will it ever? Perhaps I don't want it to end at all. Now's not the right time. Not the right time...
Quand?
One more update for this month...
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thursday
as well as spring
1:50am, I am debating whether I should wake up early tomorrow to go to my psych class. Life would be so much easier without early classes, I can only speculate. I do have a big day waiting ahead of me. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by my own selfishness and often end up regretting it. Just great!
I've just checked the weather forecast for the next seven days: 13, 14, 12, 15, 13, 10, 11 degrees Centigrad. What is going on??? Should I pack up my winter jacket now?
3B is, by far, the most disgusting term I've ever had so far. Today, at Williams, while having a soup, I thought of the old days. Back in time when I could do certain things, experiment new things, test my own limits, and just stuff. And I did all that simply because I could. But before I knew it, it 1998 was already here and I had to leave my high school behind. Oh I miss those days...
I am tired. And I've made my decision. Too bad for Psych207, I ain't going!
I am so sorry...
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everything
is okey.
I've wasted pretty much the entire day today, so I figured I might as well waste some more updating my page. Turns out, it took much longer than I'd expected. But that's okey, because the more time I spend on non-project related things, the more I feel rebellious, and hence, I feel so much better! I feel like high school again. Very selfish of me, I know. :p
"I wanna be normal", said I in an unsure tone. I didn't know why I couldn't say it with confidence though. I've always wanted and struggled to be normal. So I had to be sure when I said it. But come to think of it, I guess I wasn't sure if I knew what I really wanted. It's funny how sometimes people have that natural instinct to behave in such way that you can only justify it with whatever reasons you may have at the subconscious level. What is it to be normal? I don't know. I used to have this mental picture of myself being normal, duly paying taxes, respecting laws and such... Just being like everyone else. But recently, I came to the conclusion that, that cannot be. It just simply can't. I can't. Regardless of how hard I try, it's all going to be a waste of time. Why? Simply because my definition of being normal has changed, and with respect to my new view, there's no such thing as normal. Weird, don't you think? Yeah, I know, too.
an empty stage,
a cage.
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interwined
complication & simplicity
Words flow like Niagara but it's so strong that I am unable to grasp any of it. It's not fair, because the more I try, much harder it becomes. All the effort I put into is only replaced by this unbearable pain. You may not know what I'm talking about, but that is okey because it is intended to be so.
My apologies for the tiny font I used for the picture on the left. When I worked on it at a 2048 x 1536 resolution, I was under the impression that the font would be big enough at a smaller size. Obviously, I was wrong. I could go back and change it, but lazyness seems to be the game I am addicted to lately. But no worries, it's nothing, even remotely close to something cool.
Oh, one more thing before I wrap up and head to the lab (again). It may not be a big deal to most of people, but it is, to me. And it's that I actually remembered what I dreamt of last night, or, to be more precise, earlier this morning. It was nothing special, but still, a dream is a dream, right?
simply complicated?
or
complicately simple?
I don't know!!!
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gone red
while waiting
Okey, I admit it. The picture that accompanied my last posting was pretty lame. And to tell you the truth, it has been bugging me for the last couple of days. Why am I out of ideas? I have tons of pictures of cool, weird, and abstract things, taken here and there, but nothing catches my eyes. So what I do? Make use of my tablet... finally! But I didn't think it was good enough. So now I'm regretting it. :| Anyways. So here it is, a little something that I'd "prepared" a long ago. Call me lazy, but that's all I am, at least for now.
I don't know what I've been eating lately, but my keyboard (especially my space bar) is all sticky now. And it's really frustrating. I can't complete one sentence without deleting a long string of space characters, a void.
Lost In Translation. Always good.
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an expert
of adaptation
I went to play squash today. First time in two weeks? To my surprise I was able to keep up with my partner. Short, but effective, I'd say. But I've been thinking. Do you think I'm improving? 'Cuz I think I've prematurely reached the plateau. I wonder and I can only wonder.
Exhausted. Lying down in my bed, millions of thoughts passed through my head. But it was so fast that I could barely keep up with each and every single one of them. How strange. But something told me that I had to pay attention to all of them, because all of them were important and I couldn't afford to miss any! But the thing is, the moment I made an effort to think about what's just gone through my head, it was too late. I tried. I swear, I did. But to no avail. I wonder if there's a such thing as speed thinking? All I know that you're not supposed to "read" the words when you're speed reading. So what, I'm not supposed to "think" when I'm speed thinking? Very strange... Then another set of thoughts came: This very bed I'm lying on, does it have feelings too? How about that bed frame leaning against the side wall? The empty boxes, my broken squash racket, my bag... Suddenly I was overwhelmed by this feeling of triviality! In my own room, too! My very existence was questioned: for what and why? That's when I got up and decided to go eat something.
Not a day passes by without satisfying my almost-lethal cravings for chocolate. I've always been a big chocolate lover, but not as much as this. I wish to go to Costco and get boxes of KitKat Chunky and Oh Henry Vanilla. For those who haven't had one yet, you really are missing out! Awww.. I can't stop...
Maybe that leftover lasagna wasn't too fresh... I'm not feeling well tonight.
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march is here
but winter is no longer here
"When you cease to dream, you cease to live."
Someone, at some point in time, once said that. Where did I see it? I have no clue, but I liked it so much that it's engraved to my mind. It's written so simple, but yet it's so powerful! To me, at least... I wonder if dreaming forever will make me live forever.
I used to daydream a lot. So much that I would get scolded and sent to the principal's office for being disrespectful towards the teachers. Of course, I'd always end up in one of those Friday after school detentions. I couldn't help it though. It's not as easy as it seems to just snap out of daydreaming by someone calling out your name for 5+ times. Everyone thought that I was doing it on purpose though, just to annoy the heck out of the teachers. But I didn't object to them; I let them think whatever they wanted to think of it. That was me, some 6+ years ago.
It is 2004. It seems all I've retained from the past is my ability to fall asleep with such a great ease. The rest is gone, including my daydreaming days. You pick a spot, and I will fall asleep. I'd never noticed it before, but the more people point it out, the more I think it's true. Sometimes the people around you know more about yourself than the "I". Nonetheless, I bet you not that many people know that I am alergic to green cars. (Hmmm... I guess, now that I've said it, the total number of people who know it must have just increased by two or three.)
Anyways. I am tired. Time to think some constructive thoughts!
A severe case of GRU patient in need of help.
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